lidocaine

Yes, that's what I've been putting on my back for the last twenty-four hours, a lidocaine patch. It hasn't done much good, unfortunately. Today is the peace table at the Farmers' Market, and Licia (who still hasn't guest blogged) kindly volunteered to go help Shirley (fellow peacenik) set up. I'll hobble down there later and try to smile peacefully at people. But enough about my stupid back.

Today's post will be about something happy and near and dear to my heart, music. When things get me down, I turn to music. Since I have a rich (and very aural) inner head, I don't even need to play music to be cheered up by it. Right now I'm thinking about how Stuart Murdoch of Belle and Sebastian was housebound for years with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and still wrote great songs, many of which wound up on Tigermilk. Music can really help us through those bad times, and I, like Nick Hornby's character Rob from High Fidelity have a whole list of songs that remind me of certain times in my life. So here are a few of them in no order whatsoever:
Belle and Sebastian's "I Spent the Summer Wasting" Summer 2000, Pocatello, Idaho
Jimmy Johnson's "(I'm a) Jockey" mid 90's, American Falls, Idaho
"The Anne Boleyn Song" all my life, New Jersey, sung by my father
The Decemberists' "July, July!" Summer 2002, Portland, Oregon and Richie
The traditional Irish "Mountains O' Mourne", anywhere, anytime there's a chance for me to sing it a capella, but the first I heard it was the Don McLean version in the 80's
The Smith's "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now", first done in 1984, but I didn't hear it until 2000, late bloomer that I am. I have it in my head at work sometimes, nuf said.
And my all time in my head right now song, always my end-of-summer-song is (drum roll please) . . .
REM's "Nightswimming", 1992, but perfect for the end of any summer. It's nostalgic and sweet and slightly sexy, in a teenage discovery sort of way.

So those are the songs I rely on when I need to have a song in my head, for whatever reason. What songs do you hold dear? Whatchu got?

What a bummer, dude!

Those of you who know me may remember my back injury almost two years ago. I had a ruptured disc that was hugely painful and spent months using a traction device to try to avoid back surgery. I did get through it without surgery and restored my back almost to its former glory. I've very active (which is good because I eat a lot) and I try to stretch as often as I remember. But, alas, (redundant that, but I wanted to use alas) I've had a relapse. Now, while oldest daughter Alicia (aka Bighead) is here, I'm doing traction, sitting with a heating pad, and thinking about calling the chiropractor. Too bad Pinhead isn't here to give me a massage.

So the topic of my blog today is vulnerability. I'm a pretty fearless sort, and I don't let much stop me, but back pain is more than pain. It makes me feel vulnerable, prone to further injury, off kilter, not at one with the universe. Okay, I added that one-with-the-universe-stuff just to end the line. I don't even know what that means. All I know is I don't feel like SuperPat today, and I'd sure like a little sympathy.

So I guess I should ask for advice. What do you do when you're out of sorts, injured, or ill? Should I go for it? Maybe go for a jog like some doctors tell their back injury patients to do? Should I be looking for muscle relaxers? Check myself into a spa? Heating pad or ice? So many options. Anybody wanna entertain my 27 year old kid for the day?

Step up and at least send me some sympathy, even you anonymous.

Season's changing

Those of you who are in denial will not want to hear this, but I'm gonna tell ya anyway. I was driving home from Utica last night and there they were: trees with red and orange leaves on them. Yup, summer is in decline, and I go back to work in less than one week. Moopy says it was cold last night in Idaho too, so it's not just a central New york thing.

You might not be feeling too sorry for me if you're the kind of person who doesn't work in academe, who doesn't have the summer "off," as non-academic types think of it. I have to say I've had the best summer in a long while. I wrote two articles, four poems, planned my work year at SUNYIT, and had some fun along the way. My family was healthy and relatively happy. And so, as summer dwindles and I look forward to facing two classes of freshmen I'm making some resolutions for fall:
1) be kind to them; they're new at this college thing
2) teach more grammar, but in fun ways, like using msword and messing around with it to reinforce syntax
3) be kind to my superadjuncts, who are delightful people
4) get the freshpeople involved in campus life
5) that's enough lovefest. I can't think of a fifth work-related thing. Oh yeah, get tenure -- yikes!

What are you gonna do this fall? Your answer doesn't have to be work-related. If you're gonna start a diet, that's cool, tell me about it. If you're gonna finish a novel (Lena) that's way cool. Whatchu got?

Still waiting

for guest blogger Alicia Billman to step up to the plate. Yeah, I'm back online, but from the coffee shop not from home. I know that it's not my modem at least. This whole not being online thing has revealed to me what an internet slut I am. I checked my work email last, btw.

So today it's raining in central New York, after a night of nasty thunder and lightning. Missy (the dog) is still alive but shaken, after a night of trying to get under the bed, in the bathtub, in the kitchen cupboard, etc. Today's post is dedicated to Missy, my faithful companion of 8+ years. Five things I love about Missy are:
1) She is cute, in an aging diva hound dog sort of way
2) She is sweet, in an over needy, high strung sort of way (no, that doesn't mean she's just like me)
3) She is pretty well behaved (unless you count food obsession as a behavior problem)
Okay, so there are only three things I love about Missy. What about you? Gotta pet that you love/don't love, tolerate? Lemme know. Step up to the plate and post, why don'tcha? This means you, Mikey.

Peace

While I'm waiting

for Alicia Billman to come up with a guest post, I think I'll say a little bit about one of my real passions that not too many people know about. I have recently debugged my desktop computer, which was loaded with a ton of trouble, mostly viruses with horrible names. In doing so, I have been reunited (and it feels so good) with my Scrabble game. Let me say that I used to play at least two games of Scrabble at the Master level before leaving for work every day. My game was still there when my computer was funky, but it ran sluggish and sometimes froze.

So Scrabble and I are back together. Problem is, I now suck at it. In the months of not playing, I seem to have lost my ability to generate good words or capitalize on the Maven's played words in any decent manner. I may have to set the difficulty level lower for awhile. I am losing and losing big.

Are there other things in the world that should be of greater concern to me? Yes. And yes I'm aware that admitting to an addiction a computer-generated Scrabble game is not even as cool as admitting to an addiction to the online version or to online porn. But it's what I got, and I used to be damn good at it. And now I'm not. But I'll be back on top someday. You wait and see.

So what kinds of uncool (or cool, if you insist) addictions, fetishes, habits, whateva, do you have? I'm leaving the rating scale to your discretion.

If you're driving through Clinton, NY between 4:00 and 5:00, guest activist Alicia Billman will be on the Village Green holding up a sign with the rest of us. Honk for the hottie!

Good Day and Peace Out

Music

Last night I went to the Trama-something Cafe in Utica, New York. There was live music by local artists and they rocked the house. It got me to thinking that everyone out there who reads this blog lives in a place where local artists live and work, often unsupported by anyone/thing other than their equally poor fan base. I'm kinda lucky because while I do write and read poetry locally, I also have a cushy state job to pay the mortgage with, that is until the State of New York cuts $96 million from the budget this year and I go start a new career at Jiffy Lube.

So here's to local artists, like (in Utica) Jenny Penny, the Real Burnouts, Figments of Your Imagination, all the writers who stand up and read at coffee shops, and all their listeners who come out and say thank you and give us a pat on the back.

You've got great local performers/artists where you live, so let's hear about some of them. Names names; maybe it'll help sell a cd or maybe you'll wind up having some great artist come on tour and sleep on your couch.

Whatchu got?

Catherine forgot

that she also meant to ask you what it is you look for in a friend. Remember, she's new at all this.