My oldest daughter Alicia (aka Bighead) will be here tomorrow night. My youngest daughter Catherine (aka Pinhead) is here right now, asleep upstairs. So I thought I'd take a moment and talk about daughters. My daughters are my greatest asset, my best friends, my confidantes, and my comic relief. We have a relationship that is a little atypical, to say the least. They have seen me through emotional turmoil that I thought would take me under, and they've listened to me when I didn't even want to hear my own voice, but for some reason I kept talking anyway. They remember the winter of 1999-2000 all too well I'm sure because it was the darkest time of my life. Thank goodness they were teenagers, and they were busy, what with the getting into trouble and small town Idaho (non Mormon) fun.
Now my daughters are 27 and 25 years old, which means that I am damn old. As I look forward to having them both in the same place for a few days, I can't help but think about last summer, when we all sat by mother's bedside while she was in intensive care at Holy Name Hospital (don't go there, go to Englewood Hospital, or anywhere else for that matter). Alicia came from Portland and Catherine from Clinton because my mother was not expected to make it. Those of you who know me know she did make it, and now we'll see her again, and seeing her will make us unbearably happy.
So here are some things I'd like you to know about my daughters:
1) they are cuddly, but in different ways
2) they are eccentric, also in different ways
3) they can sew, draw, write, sing, dance, cook, read (duh!), and do so magically
4) they are nice people
5) they recycle
6) they live in cool places (Portland, OR and Northampton, MA)
7) they are a massage therapist and an applied linguistics major
8) they are funny and witty and smart
9) they are beautiful
10) they love me
So, if you're a daughter, if you're a mother, what do you want to say about your mother or daughter(s)? Yes Nick, we'll talk about fathers and maybe even sons soon, but this one's for the ladies.
Gotta go, time for peace at the Clinton Farmers' Market.
Whatchu got?
wouldn't it be nice if mine weren't parked in the snow?
yikes
My Pops, Vinnie Murphy
who'd a thought 97 could be so cute!
the Moms, aka Catherine Murphy
is my mama adorable, or what?
Mark Doty
Portland Santacon
Manda and me on Thanksgiving
trying not to crack up too much. I gotta say I love my family.
It won't look like this
He da man, oh yeah!
too bad his last book sucked
This?
Or This?
You decide
Better Days
My hero
She's cute, but she's nuts!
nice segueway, huh?
My Hero
I am
- Patricia Murphy, a resident of
- the Village of Clinton, New York, United States
- I'm a college writing teacher and graduate of Idaho State University's soon-to-be-defunct Doctor of Arts Program. I write poetry and read it sometimes at local venues. I like nice people, no matter what their age, race, orientation, whatevah. I don't want to embarrass anyone, but I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world.
Yeah, this guy wasn't there
Astroland
Utica Erie Canal Fall
This is what I have to look forward to
Utica Winter
And then this . . .
Gotta Love Summer!
chillin' at D's house, minus the glasses
Jeez!
Can you believe I gave birth to these two?
Clinton, NY
town square
4 comments:
i would like to be things 1 through 10, especially 7 (applied linguist part).
my mom is the best ever, and i hope that someday my daughter thinks i'm the best ever. now that i have her (she's almost two) i think that that's the most important thing EVER.
i still have trouble thinking of her as mine--like, as though i have pregnancy and childbirth amnesia, or that she was switched at birth and i somehow got a daughter who is way more wonderful than i deserve.
thanks for the love-ly post--
Lets see can I make another top ten list? (I feel so High Fidelity here!)
My Mother
10.)She can cook, and she cooks very well, but she holds her recipes close so I try harder to guess them. When I get them right I feel more like her.
9.)She has good taste in wine. She has taught me that there is a wine for every occasion. (Right now is the time for Brotherhood Reisling, her favorite which is only found in NY, in honor of her!)
8.)She has really bad taste in music. Which actually helps me out because what she like, I don't, but if I don't like it, I know I can give it to her as a gift!
7.)She is flighty. Which makes for interesting conversations when she is ten minutes late with the punch-line.
6.) She doesn't hold back when she feels like hitting Nick. It's always well deserved in my opinion.
5.)She is religious (goes to church weekly, and on days of obligation, and is the head of religious education) and sticks to her morals. Thus I attempt to follow in her footsteps. I am the only daughter who has so we have a stronger bond.
4.) She helps run a preschool with my neighbor, which shows in my mind a load of tolerance.
3.)She is an amazing painter. Like Sistine Chapel Good!
2.) She is an avid and amazing gardener. Thus I feel like I can go to her about any plant and find it out within minutes. (She knows over 200 varieties of Hostas, and owns at least 50)
1.) She works at a library, therefore she knows what is good to read. I get a lot of ideas on what to read from her. We have different interests when it comes to books, but she knows them and tries to point me in the right direction... which lately is children's books oddly enough.
She is the one person that I know without a doubt will always be there for me through thick and thin regardless of what happens. I look up to her, and constantly want to question everything now. You would never have thought, seeing us now, that at one time we didn't get along
This is a really deep thing to comment on.
I think many mothers and daughters have a unique dynamic.
For instance, I love my mother-in-law. I think she is just the best thing since the frosting on a cupcake. I also know that my sister-in-law wants to rip her face off over some of the things she does. I can't relate, because I think she is almost close to perfect.
As for my mom, she has many, many fans. I'm one of them. But no one in this world can drive me as crazy as my mother does.
(I sound like a horrible daughter, don't I, after all of these warm and fuzzy posts!)
I have thought long and hard about this because I have often wondered why I seem to be so damn critical about my mother more than anyone else.
I think we see our mothers as a preview of what is to come. Some of that peek I am happy about, and some of it I hope doesn't happen (mom, it's pronounced breakfast, not BREADfast).
What I do know is this. My mom has always been there for me, she has always been my biggest fan, and always (always) has had my best interest at heart.
You can't duplicate that kind of love, and I wouldn't want to (accept with my daughter).
I just hope that my daughter and I can laugh about it when I start driving her crazy. And I hope she knows the fierce love I have always, and will always, have for her.
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