Laser, Taser, What's the Difference, Really?

After two days yeah, the whole laser thing seems voodoo crazy to me on one hand. They put pads on my back while I'm lying face down on a gurney (I guess) and the first pad gets really warm (I guess it's uv). The second one is cold when they put it on and doesn't really warm up. I just lie there and try to read the New Yorker because my doctor has a subscription and I gave mine up. It's hard to concentrate because my back hurts a lot in that position, and because the New Yorker is just as pretentious as it ever was. Then they run a laser over my spine and the area that hurts the most, which is located pretty far to the left of my spine. The whole thing takes about an hour. The nurse comes and goes and talks a lot about her kids and girl scouts and how much homework kids have in fifth grade.

I guess since it's an hour of my time, it'd be cool if I had someone a little more interesting to talk to, maybe interview. I don't know who; of course my immediate choice is Stuart Murdoch, but really he's just a guy in a band. I think maybe I'd like to interview my father and have somebody there to get things down on record. He's had a really interesting life in some ways. I'd like him, for the sake of my fantasy interview, not to be 97 and to know more about his heritage. Maybe I should go the route where I interview someone famous and infamous to get to the core of something, uncover the "real" story. Who knows? I'll think about it today. Who would you interview? Let's assume whoever you interviewed had to tell the truth, too.

Oh, yeah, here's a funny thing about the laser thing. They make you put on these glasses while they're actually doing the laser. For some reason, maybe because they look like those big frames I wore in the 80's (stop laughing, everybody wore them) that cracks me up. It makes me think of old pictures I have in which my glasses look comically way too big for my rather small head. I chuckle to think of it.